Quotes
by Dianna Booher, CSP, CPAE
“Communication is the soul of management: analysis and solid decisions translated into clear messages that influence people to act and feel good about their performance.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Communication is a life-or-death matter. … As lawyers, engineers, system analysts, or secretaries which creates the most frustration and failure—the technical art of their job or dealing with people—and they’ll agree on the latter. Samson of biblical fame killed 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass Similar destruction occurs on a daily basis with the same weapon.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Emotional connection gives people ears to hear what disconnected mind might not.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“Listening is the shortest route to the heart.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“A conversation here. A Conversation there. A meal. A trip. A visit. A problem faced. A struggle overcome. A success shared. Little by little, friendship grows.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“When you listen first and then speak your heart with clarity and courtesy, you can lead others to change attitudes, behaviors, and situations.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“Communication skills in our everyday lives and relationships create the difference between misery and defeat or success and satisfaction.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Smart women learn to say their no’s with grace rather than gravel.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Don’t hide behind your words to avoid hearing the message.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Many people now pay a therapist for what a friend used to do—listen.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Ongoing conflict is like a simmering pot of water You’re ready to boil over at the slightest provocation.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Check for the hidden agenda before you bite, hook, line, and sinker.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“There comes a time when rage must run into resolution.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Measure your relationship with others by the kind of conversation they share with you.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Think of negative feedback as a gift, not a gripe.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Filter questions and feedback go hand in hand. Your mission is to sift the reflective from the flaky.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Credibility is a by-product of appearance and grooming.”
—From Ten Smart Moves for Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Small talk means having a little loose change in your pocket. Like quarters at a pay phone, dimes at a gum dispenser, or dollars at a toll booth, it’ll come in handy when you least expect it. When it comes to small talk, know when to jiggle it, spend it, or save it.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Meetings can bring the world to peace—or kill 15 hours a week for even the best time manager.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Be wary of listening for what you don’t want to hear.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Don’t bomb when a BB gun will do.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“An apology or acceptance of an apology can be the glue that makes teams work, makes managers productive after a mistake, and enables leaders to get up after they’ve fallen.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Most people enjoy giving advice. Heartfelt advice about issues of vital concern ooze out like so much salve in a tightly compressed tube. The difficulty comes in determining if the person wants to be healed, anointing the right sore spot, making sure the medication is appropriate to the problem, and recapping the lid after the initial diagnosis and treatment.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“The person with no conflict on the job or at home should be mounted and sold by Neiman Marcus in its one-of-a-kind gift catalog. Conflict can result from excellent work or poor work, from good intentions or evil intentions, from appropriate behavior or inappropriate behavior, from praise or insult.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Accepting praise can be as difficult as accepting a gift, you wouldn’t want to insult others by not accepting their praise.”
—From Communicate with Confidence®
“Nagging has never worked. Otherwise, those hearing it wouldn’t have labeled it ‘nagging’; they would have called it “reminding.” Perspective marks the difference between the two—speaker or listener. If you’re to the point of nagging (in the other person’s point of view), the listener has tuned out. It’s time to rewrite the script because the other person is no longer picking up the message.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Conversations, in general, are sometimes like Capote’s faction—a mixture of truth and fiction. That is, after they’re over, everybody has a different viewpoint on exactly what was said. When you’re discussing serious, sensitive issues, generally everybody has a viewpoint. It’s only natural to see your own viewpoints, conclusions, and interpretations as factual or valid and those of the other person as opinion and invalid. The real ‘truth’ typically falls somewhere in the middle.”
—From Your Signature Life
“I’ve lost more sleep over words than from any illness, work, or obligation in my life. Words that I wish I’d said and didn’t. Words that I’ve said and wished I hadn’t. Words that others have said to me that cut deep. Words that others didn’t say to me that still managed to leave a hole in my psyche. Words that rolled off my tongue too quickly. Words that I swallowed and held onto too long. Words can change our lives forever.”
—From The Worth of a Woman’s Words
“Our challenge as individuals remains to write or speak lasting legacies to those we love.”
—From The Worth of a Woman’s Words
“Whether watching TV, the computer screen, or hard copy, the mindset is the same: Have remote; will surf.” Your job as a writer is to make that kind of reading possible by presenting your most important information upfront and leaving to readers how much or how little detail they want.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“With many writers, the first and final drafts are, unfortunately, the same. But to most professional writers, real writing is rewriting.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“The trend in today's e-commerce falls between the two extremes: stuffed-shirt writing and t-shirt writing. Like our work clothes, the preferred writing style has become business casual. And just as the business casual dress code has some people stumped, so has the business causal writing style.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Collectively, email and the Internet have become the biggest boon to our productivity–– and bane to our sanity. Email alone has added an extra hour or two to our work day, cluttered our minds with trivia, tempted us to “talk” about everybody’s business but our own, tried our patience in attempting to unravel stream-of-consciousness prose to come to a decision or take action, cost hours in patching up rifts caused by political minefields, added guilt-induced stress about the still “to be read” list popping onto our screen minute by minute—and threatened to serve as fodder for lawsuits in corporate embarrassments.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Effective business or technical writing requires training; success comes by method, not chance.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Many reports, letters, or e-mails are poorly written because writers do their thinking on paper. They have not considered a total project or body of data, interpreted it, and tailored it to the reader's purpose. Often the first few paragraphs or first few pages constitute a warm-up drill. Writers pour out everything on the paper and then come to a conclusion while writing through the details. Or worse still, the authors never come to a conclusion but rather leave the conclusion and interpretations up to the readers.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“The most difficult part of writing is getting a handle on the project. Every time I tackle a new book, I feel as if I'm looking at a flopping catfish at the end of a fishing line. The fish just hangs there, flopping back and forth, daring me to catch and unhook it without getting finned. Hovering in exactly the right position, I have to pin the fins firmly to its side before working the hook out of its mouth and feeling it's all mine. So it is with writing. A well-written e-mail, letter, report, proposal, or manual brings great satisfaction, but the process is usually the pain.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“People have grown accustomed to venting their spleen on the screen. Writers sometimes forget that they’re communicating with real people in front of the computer screen. Lurking in chat rooms also fortifies writers with the feeling of anonymity. Flaming, the practice of sending hostile e-mail to those who irritate, also fosters a sense of protection across the distance. Tact doesn’t even enter the sender’s thought process. This feeling of anonymity sometimes spills over into online writing to coworkers and customers. The tone is often too blunt, too brusque, or too negative.”
—From E-Writing: 21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Presence may be difficult to define, but it is easy to spot. Most people know it when they see it. It is a manner of moving and interacting that commands attention and creates confidence in the speaker and increases credibility for the content.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Be aware that gestures and mannerism either support or sabotage what you say.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Passing on information is not the problem. The problem is turning information into communication. Sitting through boring meeting after boring meeting while somebody stands to the left of a computer screen and narrates a slideshow in a darkened room just does not make the grade anymore—if it ever did. Connecting with an audience to push them to action or to a decision takes a very different mindset and skill than doling out data.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“End with a wallop, not a whimper.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Stories and punch-lines pack power. Humor anchors key po9ints. Humor makes your message memorable.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“The longer the story, the funnier the punch-line needs to be.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Visuals can add glitz, glamour, or garbage.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Sometimes professionals speaking before specific groups in the course of their jobs fail to take a situation and shape it into a clear message with a specific purpose for a specific audience. They take the same slide deck of information and dole it out to whoever asks for an update—any day for any reason.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Connections create credibility. To put it simply, people are much more apt to believe you if they like you.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Don’t be afraid to show enthusiasm for your subject. “I’m excited about being here today” says good things to an audience. It generally means that you are confident, you have something of value to say, and you are prepared to state your case clearly. Boredom is contagious. Audiences get it from speakers who resist being “too emotional” about their ideas and the outcome of their presentation.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Few people have all the answers. Even when you have all the information as a presenter, audience members typically like to separate the substantiated facts from the sermonizing.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“People interact with their computers, DVDs, TVs, cell phones, home security systems, ATMs, and airline check-in systems. Team members give 360-degree feedback to their peers and supervisors. They send suggestions to the senior executives by e-mail. Suppliers survey clients to ask, “How are we doing?” So when it comes to presentations, audiences assume that you will build in a two-way dialogue and interactivity—that you will not simply provide an information dump and walk away, thinking you have communicated and achieved your objective.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Nobody ever thinks that bad things will happen to good presenters. Big mistake.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“A good emcee functions much like a home page for a Web site. The emcee greets the audience members, grabs their attention, overviews succinctly what the program is all about, establishes credentials, serves as the thread of continuity, provides transitions between extended presentations, and sums up with sponsor and contact information, along with the appropriate “thank you’s.” In short, being a master of ceremonies takes skill and preparation.”
—From Speak with Confidence: Powerful Presentations That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Prospect deep, not shallow. Don’t jump to the erroneous conclusion that every “no” gets you closer to a “yes.” That’s true only in theory, not in reality. If you build a shallow prospect list—with the quickest, easiest contacts to find—you may be spending your time calling all the wrong people —the shallow fish—and getting more than your fair share of no’s. Instead, it’s typically worthwhile to spend more time creating a deeper, better prospect list from the start. This way, it takes fewer calls to get you to each yes.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Treat gatekeepers like gold mines. A demanding tone sets the gatekeeper in motion—usually against you.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“View prospecting as a game you must win to help customers who want to be found in the maze.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Become the project manager of the sale.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Never rationalize that the purpose of your call is ‘to stay in touch.’”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Listen between the lines for what’s said, what’s not said, and what can’t be said.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Think, act, listen large.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Guard against turning a sales conversation into a sales presentation.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Never sacrifice the client for the sale.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“Never just walk through your proposal. Give a guided tour.”
—From From Contact to Contract
“It is generally not the boring routine that causes burnout, but the absence of passion and purpose.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Work – enjoyable and rewarding, or boring and disturbing – can be addictive.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Like painting a portrait, writing a blockbuster, or building a house, building a life comes much easier when you tackle it as a unified project: growing your character while you’re on the job, strengthening relationships and influencing others while you work in the community, becoming a better mother as you struggle with an ethical dilemma your committee faces, building a closer friendship as you work through a job difficulty with your boss or client, serving God through the opportunities you gain from recognition at work. Self. Relationships. Work. Parts of one integrated, balanced life. As you work on creating this masterpiece called your life, you’ll want to be able to say you’ve done your personal best so that you can sign your name to what you have lived.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Negative people have a way of drenching your whole office or home in a downpour. They drain your energy and your time and break your concentration on the important things.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“You do become the artist who paints your own portrait from the inside out—your character. You paint it habit by habit, day by day, line by line, shadow upon shadow. Each conversation you have adds its own color to the canvas. Each dilemma carves a new dimension. Every decision creates new depth. Failures and successes give perspective. Over time, each trait blends into the final character profile.”
—From Your Signature Life
“The canvas is yours. Your character is ready for your creation. It will be your most priceless possession. You have final say about what goes into it. After you’ve completed it, no one can destroy it or alter it. Once you sign your name to it and leave your earthly studio, you will always be remembered by this final, distinctive work of art.”
—From Your Signature Life
“I’d rather hold God’s hand in the crowded highway of humanity than float along alone in complete freedom and chance stumbling to the ground and getting trampled by the traffic. Genuine faith is reassuring and enduring.”
—From Your Signature Life
“As you build your dream career or do volunteer work, understand that the process can be wearing at times, but the payoff is powerful if you keep your work in perspective. Don’t let your work define you; instead, let it refine you. Take ownership of it. Be accountable for it. Sign it with excellence.”
—From Your Signature Life
“When building Your Signature Work, understand that some parts of the structure may not be what they photograph for the Lifestyle section of the Sunday newspaper. Nevertheless, those parts—the door hinges, the electrical system, the rafters, or the water faucets—prove essential just the same. When you’re working as if God were your customer or your coworker, service makes sense and provides satisfaction on a deeper level. When you’re faced with doing the mundane, value the here and now as well as the there and forever. Focus on the why, not on the what.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Your Own Signature Life is a work in progress. You may be discouraged by the difference between your vision of your finished masterpiece and the work you’ve completed thus far. But don’t dwell on your failures, unrefined skills, or undeveloped themes. Instead, focus on the time remaining, character still to be shaped, the scenes still to be created, the design still to be modified, and the building still to be done. When your masterpiece is completed, sign it with care. God will be the final appraiser.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Our philosophies about time, aging, success, immortality, marinated mushrooms, and the day-to-day hustle show up in different ways in our lives. Our thoughts about time affect everything we do—our relationships, our work, our successes. To be more specific, our concept of time determines whether we work late or go home to the kids. Eat instant oatmeal or cook an omelet. Wallpaper the closet or leave the shelves unfinished. Arrive early or late. Have surgery or accept the wrinkles. Cry or laugh. Ignore or help. Despair or hope. How we allocate our minutes each day profoundly affects our career success, our charitable work, the quality of our personal lives, and the gift of ourselves that we leave behind for friends and family.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Many people confuse the exhilaration of the speed of the journey with the satisfaction upon arrival.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“To reduce stress, set your inner engine at a lower idling speed. When you catch yourself racing with your mind in overdrive, ask why.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Piddling on purpose is fine. That can be restful. But piddling when you think you’re busy is self-delusion.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“One thing completed is worth ten things on hold.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
"What we believe we can control, we often can’t. And what we believe we cannot control, we often can. Power comes in knowing the difference.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Awareness and gratitude can make life’s predicament more palatable.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“When you’re feeling down, get away from everything that’s artificial and open your senses. Touch a tree. Roll in the grass. Smell the rain. Watch the sunrise. Pet a dog. Hear the crickets. Walk in the in sunlight. Shuffle in the snow. Face the wind.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Reflection and solitude feed the soul.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“Winning or losing, bounty or bankruptcy is not the point. Doing the right thing is.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Nothing proves more crucial to the way your life story unfolds than the relationships you build along the way. And the essence of all your relationships is your conversations running end to end, from the first to the final scene. Listen willingly. Interpret perceptively. Speak honestly. Phrase lovingly. Position positively. Edit carefully. “
—From Your Signature Life
“You need to create chemistry so that you and your other “cast members” get along on the set before a crisis occurs. Work to build strong bonds. Then on days of torrential downpours, the rains won’t affect the turnout at your box office.”
—From Your Signature Life
“As you build Your Signature Work, the biggest trap to avoid is falling into the murkiness of mediocrity where the masses spend their time. If your work habits tend to short out, your clout and influence will grow dim. But if your efforts reflect excellence, your results will shine.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Most reasoned risks are not irreversible.”
—From Get a Life: How to Find Time for the Important Things in Life
“A friendship gives definition to that old phrase ‘the good life.’”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“Your character influences others far more than your clever words, wealthy, or wisdom every could.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“In today’s culture, some people think moral responsibility means picking up their munchies mess at the movies.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“Friends don’t have to say hello or goodbye. Like a neighbor who pops in to borrow a cup of sugar you can pop back into my life in a day or a year and it’s as thought we’ve never missed a beat.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“Smart people create their own name badge.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“When it comes to marriage, smart people set up a partnership, not a holding company.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Instead of working to earn something, work to become something. Work to become fulfilled. Work to become useful to others. Work to reflect God’s character on earth. The ideal job rarely exists in reality. But you can build Your Signature Work on a vacant lot very close to it.”
—From Your Signature Life
“Smart women use passion to propel them toward their goals.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“The Esther Effect is the impact you have when God places you in a situation in which you can encourage or influence others or change the course of events.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“A goal should feel like a guide, not a gun to your head!”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women decide things by design, not default.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Sometimes not to take a risk can be he biggest risk of all.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women make sure their success rests on pillars rather platforms—multiple pillars of self-esteem; multiple sources of relationships, activities, and accomplishments that support them.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women master their moods. That is, they live by direction, decision, and determination rather than whim….If you don’t master your moods, they’ll muddle your mind.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Those that hang out, hang in, and hang on—these are your most valuable friendships.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Forgiveness allows flexibility of the heart when the head says it can take no more.”
—From Ten Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed in Love and Life
“Injustice feels like an itch you can’t scratch.”
—From The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of Self-Confidence and Influence
“A friend reads between the lines when you’re not be transparent.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“Friends make you laugh—even when life is far from funny.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“True friendship is not measured in days or decades.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“Friends don’t simmer with sympathy over my weaknesses; they summon my strengths.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
“Friends show courtesy… They do not impose. They ask first. They listen quietly. They stay late. They arrive early. They help without being asked. They make time.”
—From Fresh-Cut Flowers for a Friend
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